Shaolin Temple Starts Flamewar

[via Reuters] China's Shaolin Temple, which is well-known for the kung-fu skills of its monks, is trying to get an apology out of someone going by the handle "Five Minutes Every Day" (I suppose in Chineese), who posted on some forum somwhere a story about a Japaneese ninja coming to the temple, challenging the kung-fu monks, and winning. Rather than taking the normally accepted course of action to insulting forum posts (ignoring them, or posting back), the temple has instead brought out their lawyers to demand that this fiendish criminal "apologize to the whole nation for the wrongs he or she did."

Guess what I have to say to China's Shaolin Temple:

Once upon a time, there was a ninja who had gone to visit China. He had heard of the skill of the monks of the Shaolin Temple, and went there to see whether they were really as good as he had heard. When he arrived, he challenged one of the newest monks, who had trained for only a year, in single combat, and defeated him. He then went on to challenge another monk, who had trained for ten years, and defeated him also. He defeated monks who had trained for twenty and thirty years, and defeated them also. Finally, he challenged the grand master of the Temple, who had trained for his entire lifetime, and defeated him also. The ninja then went back to Japan, and told of his journy through China.

I'm sure China's Shaolin Temple is very wonderful, and kung-fu is downright awesome. I think their monks probably would stand a chance of beating a ninja. But "zomg an 'internet user' posted a story in which ancient Shaolin monks were defeated by Ninjas!!!!!111111" is hardly a reason to send your lawyer to the Beijing News. It's not a crime, a horrible deed, or even particularly disrespectful.

NY Police Comissioner's Biggest Threat to the US? Muslims on the Internet

According to the Police Commissioner of New York, the Internet is the "new Afghanistan" when it comes to fighting terrorism. His general argument seems to be that unhappy Muslim-American (or Muslim-English, or Muslim-French) people who go online get "radicalized" and decide to blow stuff up, after they read information put on the web by terrorist groups. This may be a partially sound conclusion--I have no doubt that terrorist propaganda put on the Internet has caused at least one person to become a terrorist. However, the good Commissioner sounds as though he believes that it is imperative that we keep every person of Islamic faith away from computers, lest they all become "radicalized" by invisible radicalization beams and come to kill him and his city.
Furthermore, might someone tell the commissioner that, if his goal is really to stop Muslim-American people from developing a hatred and resentment towards the US, he might want to stop making them feel angry and alienated them by his comments? The report which the Commissioner released while making his inflammatory remarks stated that Western people who practice Islam may become more radical because they are "looking for an identity and a cause." What better way is there to ensure that Muslim-Americans in the city of New York are unhappy, and in need of an identity and a cause, than by having the city's Police Commissioner try to convince everyone to be afraid of them?
This is not a very humorous topic, but what I have to say to the good Commissioner is probably expressed best in this image macro:
(Image shamelessly stolen from: SpikedHumor)

The bottom line: Complaining about the radicalization of Muslim-Americans sends a message of fear and distrust. We want to send a message of friendliness and acceptance (and probably remorse for anything ever done by the CIA in the Eastern Hemisphere). See image.

See also: This guy.