104 "Improved" Hurricane Names

Dear National Weather Service,

While the current practice of assigning human names to hurricanes has no doubt helped hurricane trackers to communicate about storms and government officials to warn the public, the tremendous damages caused by recent storms such as Hurricane Katrina indicate that our nation remains woefully unprepared for large tropical storms. I, as a concerned citizen, believe that this may be in part due to the apparent friendliness of the names assigned to storms. "Katrina," for example, sounds like the name of a person whom you might like to invite to dinner, and not the name of a storm that is likely to blow away your house and kill your family.

In light of this deficiency in the hurricane naming system, I would like to respectfully submit to you a list that I have compiled of one hundred and four "improved" hurricane names (four for each letter of the alphabet). I hope that you consider my suggestion, as we are both in the business of saving lives.

Thank you,
Adam

104 Improved Hurricane Names

Hurricane Aliens
Hurricane Attack
Hurricane Ark
Hurricane Arena

Hurricane Bad
Hurricane Boom
Hurricane Baby-Killer
Hurricane Big

Hurricane Crash
Hurricane Crap
Hurricane Concussion
Hurricane Confusion

Hurricane Deadly
Hurricane Doom
Hurricane Dingos
Hurricane Destruction

Hurricane Explosion
Hurricane Error
Hurricane Extermination
Hurricane Evil

Hurricane Flay
Hurricane Fry
Hurricane Fire
Hurricane Flush

Hurricane Grapple
Hurricane Grumpy
Hurricane Gastrointestinal Discomfort
Hurricane Gladiator

Hurricane Hell
Hurricane Hatred
Hurricane Hard
Hurricane Harrowing

Hurricane Idiot
Hurricane Invisible
Hurricane Indescribable
Hurricane Itchy

Hurricane Javelin
Hurricane Justice
Hurricane Jumbo
Hurricane Jacked-Up

Hurricane Kill
Hurricane Kinetic
Hurricane Knife
Hurricane Kraken

Hurricane Laser
Hurricane Large
Hurricane Lizard
Hurricane Lurid

Hurricane Mumps
Hurricane Mother
Hurricane Maximum
Hurricane Manly

Hurricane Nothing
Hurricane Never
Hurricane Nordic
Hurricane Ninja

Hurricane Onslaught
Hurricane Orc
Hurricane Oprah
Hurricane Ownage

Hurricane Pain
Hurricane Punch
Hurricane Pounding
Hurricane Pwnt

Hurricane Quest
Hurricane Quintessential
Hurricane Queues
Hurricane Quit

Hurricane Rage
Hurricane Reorganization
Hurricane Rap
Hurricane RIAA

Hurricane Stab
Hurricane Steam
Hurricane Scary
Hurricane Satanism

Hurricane Tough
Hurricane Trash
Hurricane Tramp
Hurricane Terror

Hurricane Unstoppable
Hurricane Unfathomable
Hurricane Uppercut
Hurricane Uncle

Hurricane Vat
Hurricane Variance
Hurricane Vorpal
Hurricane Very

Hurricane Wet
Hurricane War
Hurricane Weapon
Hurricane WoW

Hurricane Xanadu
Hurricane Xenotroph
Hurricane X
Hurricane X11

Hurricane Yell
Hurricane Year
Hurricane Yeoman
Hurricane Yahoo

Hurricane Zap
Hurricane Zebra Stampede
Hurricane Zelda
Hurricane Zoro

Dozier Internet Law: Top Ten Blogger Personas

According to Dozier Internet Law, whom I am expressly prohibited from linking to, mentioning, or quoting, bloggers fall into ten categories, all of which seem bent on defaming businesses. What about the "not-insane-and-won't-take-crap-from-idiotic-lawyers" bloggers? Also, if you view their web site's source, they will sue you.

I present my review of Dozier Internet Law. All facts in this review are based on Nobel-prize-winning research, and the word of the Almighty God.

Dozier Internet Law is run by Satan. It killed my family, ran over my dog, took candy from small children, and is responsible for the election of George Bush, the attacks of 9/11, and global warming.
Also, they smell. And, they can't do law. All they can do is make castle-in-the-air cases and send angry letters.

Since their job is, apparently, to send angry letters to unhappy bloggers, telling them to stop being unhappy at once or they will be sued for large sums of money (see here), I should be getting some mail from them shortly.